One day you look over at your spouse watching TV and you think, what I am doing with this person? Yuck. “Relationship Boredom.” All he does is watch TV or get on the computer when he comes home from a long day at work. Where do I fit in? Oh no, then you look at yourself and say I’m doing the same thing. What happened to the flowers he used to bring, or the surprise outings we used to do? They are gone with the wind.
The woman feels neglected, unattractive, and unappreciated. As the man stares obliviously at the TV or computer, the woman feels compelled to shot out her “thoughts.” “You always come home and ignore me.” Immediately the man hears the tone, and volume unable to make out the words. He turns to the woman in silence not knowing how to respond since he did not hear the “words.” She then repeats herself increasing the ‘intensity’ of her words and her frustration. The man interprets this to mean, “you’re an awful person because you can’t do anything right.” The fight escalates.
The man comes home from work says, “Hi.” The woman who was watching something ‘important’ on TV, keeps her head down as she says “Hi” back. The man heads for his computer thinking, “this would be a good time to read the news.” Five minutes later the woman decides she wants to find out how the man’s day was and proceeds to get no response. Feeling unheard (literally) for the umpteenth time she decides to go for a walk with her dog. When she comes back the man is still on the computer. Still feeling invisible the woman goes about her business doing “her own thing.”
Man: Needs to realize that just because you have “won” your woman does NOT mean the courting has ended. Most women want to be courted. Basically “pay special attention to your woman in an attempt to win her support or favor.” Look up “courting” or read the book “The Love Dare” to get some ideas.
Woman: Needs to realize that men ‘cannot’ read women’s minds and that sometimes they need to be told what you want and need. When you let them know please don’t be upset with them because you had to tell him. You may need to write some things down for the man since they are visual creatures.
Something to consider the next time you start comparing your life to Instagram and Snap Chat:
Studies done by the National Institutes of Health (published in the April 2016 issue of Depression and Anxiety) and a U.K. study indicate that Instagram, chap chat, etc. may influence mood in a negative way.
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Read the second half of my book: Meeting People; It’s Not A Game to find some answers to becoming and staying intimate in this “cyberspace” world of ours.
“Life is a BALL; It just depends on how high you want to bounce it.”
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You’ve just come home from a long hard day and all you want to do is watch YouTube Video’s or do Facebook or nap or eat. Anything but speak and think. You’ve been home no more than a minute and your ‘woman’ says, “Honey, would you please take out the trash?” You say, “In a minute dear.” Your woman gives you an intense look.
The woman feels unheard and frustrated saying,” It’s needs to be done right now.” He hears an order reminding him of his mother. This type of bantering continues until the man ends up “giving in” taking out the trash begrudgingly. He hears, “If you don’t do this you will be in trouble all night.” He then huffs into his man cave for safety and shuts the door in frustration.
The women says, “Why don’t you ever do what I ask?” The man hears the word “Why,” immediately becoming defensive and doesn’t even hear the rest of the question. The woman being fast with her tongue starts to cry saying, “All I ever ask from you is to help me around the house.” The man in turn feels guilty and hears that he never does anything right. Both parties become sad and hurt.
Woman: Needs to realize that the man needs time to adjust himself from work to family life. He may need some physical space to do this, whether it be his man cave or doing some ‘mindless’ activity.
Man: Needs to realize that his woman is ‘complex’ and may need to feel wanted and heard.
Studies show that the saying “Happy Wife Happy Life,” is true. Husband’s lives satisfaction is heightened by their wives marital happiness.