On Sunday morning the man woke up and walked out of the bedroom to work on “his stuff.” The woman then awoke wanting to just gel with her partner so she called out, “Honey, come back in and lie down with me for a moment.” The man, being the wonderful partner of course comes into the room, lies down to be with his woman. They then begin to talk however the man is fidgeting, getting up, down, moving, at the same time the woman is talking to him.
The woman gets short and stops what she is saying to “scold” her partner saying, “Stop that. Can’t you just be still and talk with me?” He then reply’s, feeling the “scold,” and becoming defensive; “I am listening.” The conversation goes downhill from there.
The woman calls out to her partner to return to the room. The man responds with what he really is thinking, “I’ve got to get these things done and don’t want to fake it with you talking in bed.”
When this happens there is a “fight” because the woman feels unheard, unappreciated and rejected.
This is because the woman 1. Wants to talk, and be appreciated 2. The man wants to do “his stuff.” They are not “in sync.” What do you do?
Woman: Needs to realize that the man wants to do “his stuff” and may need to complete the task to feel relaxed and “in sync” with the woman. The man is not rejecting the woman, he just needs to complete his task.
Man: Needs to realize that when speaking to his woman he needs to use ‘tender’ wording and not be so concrete. In other words, “Dear, I love being with you. I need to finish my project so I can give you my complete attention.”
“Remember, timing is everything”