You’ve had one of those days and decide to take a nice long hot bath. When you finish you wrap yourself in a nice comfortable towel and lay on the bed by your partner wanting to become romantic. As usual he is on his laptop in bed, engrossed in whatever is in cyberspace. You look at your man and for the umpteenth time ask him to put his device away so you can both ‘snuggle.’ He says “just a minute” and a minute turns into an hour.
The woman puts on her pajamas and goes on ‘her side” of the bed and reads. After a while the man finishes what he was doing on the computer and comes over to the woman for what is known as a “quickie.” The woman is turned off and says: ‘I’m tired and need to get up early’ and then rolls over turning off the light. The man becomes irritated and said, “I thought you wanted to have sex.” The woman who wanted “romantic sex” says:” I’m tired maybe tomorrow.” Both parties are irritated because they did not get what they wanted and roll over with their backs facing each other.
The woman see’s that he is on his computer again, irritated and tired of the repeated behavior she says, “I’m going to sleep on the couch so I can get a good nights sleep.” The man, engrossed in his computer, nods his head and continues doing what he was doing.
Woman: Need to be direct with men about your wants and needs. The tone and the words you use are important because you want to be perceived as ‘caring’ not nagging. It is best to talk to him when both of you are at a good place and ready to listen.
Man: Needs to realize that women need to feel you think they are beautiful and desirable. Romancing them helps to promote great sex. Groping and doing “quickies” is not what women call “Romantic.” Every once in a while is ‘okay’ however women need to be told they are wanted and beautiful. It’s a good idea to give her reasons why you are with her.
“Sex is part of intimacy. Intimacy is: Familiarity, closeness, understanding, caring, tenderness and affection.”